Key points:
- When students feel connected to teachers, their learning flourishes
- Simple steps to navigate difficult classroom discussions
- 4 key findings on student engagement
- For more news on student well-being, visit eSN’s SEL & Well-Being hub
A recent Gallup survey asked more than 2,000 Gen Z students which factors coalesce to make the best middle/high school teachers. I’m heartened by their clear frontrunner:
The survey confirms that students crave a sense of care and trust, which are hallmarks of human connection. After almost 20 years of a connection-centered teaching practice, I offer three ways to foster meaningful connections with them and inspire their learning. And since we’re forging connections between fellow human beings, these three methods are based in human faculties.
We connect with our hearts, our muscles, and our minds.
Connect to students through your heart
My daughter’s 5th grade substitute teacher stepped in this past fall, when the school had a last-minute vacancy to fill. This dude became a legend to the kids, primarily because they got to witness the depth of his heart. Near the end of his two-month role, he candidly explained to them why he was leaving.
He told them that his father is aging, so he needs to take care of him. Because his father lives in a different part of the country, he explained how he needed to move to be near his dad. He spoke of how his siblings were already there, and that he needed to come and help because, in his words, “it’s my turn.”
Some of the students were crying, but that was ok. He didn’t back away from the opportunity to share his heart with the group. In fact, his phrase organically traveled to the parents and families; we started to say “my turn” to each other, just to honor the power of his heart and the courage of being vulnerable to 10-year-olds. And now look how the power of his heart even made its way to you.
I do not advocate for tear-filled lessons in your classroom–not even close. However, I do advocate for having an unlocked door to that level of heart, every day. Plus, vulnerability comes in gradations. Take responsibility for mistakes, and apologize when necessary. Share personal moments in your learning journey that align with the students’ experience, which offers both perspective and compassion. Even greetings can be heart-centered. Linger on the hello, make eye contact, and demonstrate that you wish to both see and be seen by your students.
Connect to students through your muscle
Try the following student poll: “Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a teacher try to trick you.” Then watch as their hands go skyward. An appallingly high number of students live in a state of safeguarding themselves from teacher-sprung “gotcha!” moments.
We mustn’t be adversaries to our students; we must be their partners. The first order of business is to acknowledge. You can say, “I’m so sorry if you’ve felt tricked by any teachers you’ve had. And I pledge that I will never, ever try to trick you. I will certainly challenge you. I will tell you if you’re wrong, without judgment, and I will help you get it right. But I will never operate within an energy of deception. You can say that I will throw you fastballs… but I will not throw you curveballs.”
To be the students’ partners means to be their consummate advocates. What’s important to them becomes important to us. Thus take to heart all reasonable requests or grievances they have. Make it known that we desire their feedback, because by doing so, we implicitly communicate to them that we trust their needs.
Partners are also accountable to each other. The mind of a young student is wired to sniff out fairness, or lack thereof. For example, we ask students to make commitments to the class, such as preparing for a test scheduled on a certain date. But to them, it’s entirely unfair that we don’t make commitments ourselves, such as grading those very tests by a certain date. This commitment imbalance smacks of hypocrisy to them. Therefore, in a manner conducive to your schedule, make a public commitment to when the tests will be graded. They’ll avidly remember that day when it comes.
Such endeavors of teacher transparency, or encouraging feedback to pivot appropriately, or making commitments, are at the end of the day, work. Work requires muscle, and students perceive such efforts as bridges of connection to them.
Connect to students through your mind
Connection is the vehicle upon which we ride to the destination of learning. What follows are my “greatest hits” of one-line student connectivity creators. This style of rhetoric lowers walls, ignites curiosity, elicits smiles, and vanquishes shame so that inspired learning can flourish.
- Can anyone tell me the answer to____? It’s ok if you can’t yet.
- Never mistake my silence with you doing something wrong. I’m just giving you a chance to think.
- (In response to a student saying, “I should know this…”) You should be exactly where you are, doing exactly what you’re doing, being exactly who you are.
- (In response to a student saying “sorry!” for getting a problem wrong) Never apologize for making a mistake. Rather than think of yourself as being right or wrong, just say to yourself, “I’m figuring it out.”
- (Responses to student questions)
○ Thank you for clarifying.
○ I’m glad you asked.
○ I get why you would ask that. - (Responses to student errors)
○ I understand your logic.
○ I see what you did.
○ I get why you’re saying that.
○ Many students understandably make that mistake at first; here’s why.
○ If I had instead asked ____, then you would be right. - (When a student looks confused) I know that face. Is there something you don’t understand? (Students/people highly appreciate when we’re attuned to their facial expressions and emotions. Once, when a student’s look of confusion led to a productive classroom discussion that clarified the lesson, I turned back to her afterwards and said, “Thank you for your face.”)
The mission to connect to students on a human level isn’t solely because they want us to. It’s not some pie-in-the-sky mantra, or because connecting is just the right thing to do and a fulfilling way to meander the earth.
The best part is that establishing meaningful human connections with the students is actually a boon for inspired learning. They’ll just want to learn more, and they’ll learn at a more galvanized frequency. Your leadership leads to student buy-in, which then spawns culture. Culture transcends; it lingers around long after the bell rings. So, whenever students think back to who their best teachers were, they’ll think of you.
A recent Gallup survey asked more than 2,000 Gen Z students which factors coalesce to make the best middle/high school teachers. I’m heartened by their clear frontrunner. Featured on eSchool News, SEL & Well-Being, Student Well-Being, best, gallup, high school, learning, november, school, students, teachers, teaching, trust eSchool News
