The way some healthcare professionals talk about our parents really grates on me – even if it does come from a good place
It turns out that I have strong views on the use of possessive determiners, which is odd because I’ve only just found out that’s what they are called. It’s not their use that bothers me, but their absence. For example, if someone inquires about my mother’s wellbeing, it narks me a bit if they ask, “How’s Mum?”, rather than, “How’s your mum?” This dropping of the possessive determiner – as with all jargon new to me, I will now take every opportunity to use it – only seems to happen in reference to one’s immediate, older relatives. How’s Mum, how’s Dad, how’s Grandad, how’s Nan? No one has ever asked, how’s Uncle, how’s Daughter, how’s Dog?
I mean, if it’s a friend making the inquiry about a parent, then fine. Grates a bit, but no bother. Otherwise, the only people entitled to drop the my/your/our in reference to my mum and dad are me and my brother. Tellingly, I don’t even feel it’s appropriate for me to drop the second “my” in that last sentence, as it’s not my brother or close friends I’m addressing here.
An evening with Adrian Chiles
Join Adrian on 10 October 2024, 7.30pm-8.30pm, when he will discuss with fellow columnist Zoe Williams his brilliantly bemused tour of British life as captured in his new collection of Guardian columns. Book tickets at theguardian.live.com
Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist
Continue reading… The way some healthcare professionals talk about our parents really grates on me – even if it does come from a good placeIt turns out that I have strong views on the use of possessive determiners, which is odd because I’ve only just found out that’s what they are called. It’s not their use that bothers me, but their absence. For example, if someone inquires about my mother’s wellbeing, it narks me a bit if they ask, “How’s Mum?”, rather than, “How’s your mum?” This dropping of the possessive determiner – as with all jargon new to me, I will now take every opportunity to use it – only seems to happen in reference to one’s immediate, older relatives. How’s Mum, how’s Dad, how’s Grandad, how’s Nan? No one has ever asked, how’s Uncle, how’s Daughter, how’s Dog?I mean, if it’s a friend making the inquiry about a parent, then fine. Grates a bit, but no bother. Otherwise, the only people entitled to drop the my/your/our in reference to my mum and dad are me and my brother. Tellingly, I don’t even feel it’s appropriate for me to drop the second “my” in that last sentence, as it’s not my brother or close friends I’m addressing here.An evening with Adrian Chiles
Join Adrian on 10 October 2024, 7.30pm-8.30pm, when he will discuss with fellow columnist Zoe Williams his brilliantly bemused tour of British life as captured in his new collection of Guardian columns. Book tickets at theguardian.live.comAdrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist Continue reading… Society, Health & wellbeing, Life and style
